That's right, Theo Huxtable.  Right.  From the Cosby Show.  Thanks.  Glad you liked it.     

Why would I know Obama?   

I don't live in the past.  I live in a house I bought in 1987.  

No, we don't talk much.  He's busy with his stuff and I'm...know what?  I gotta go.

No.  You're thinking of Phillip Michael Thomas.  From Miami Vice.  

Are you kidding? I'd still bang Phylicia Rashad!

Oh, a lot of other exciting stuff.  Acting, music, poetry, I don't care so long as MJW's staying creative. 

A hundred years from now, everyone will have three names.  

I just want to say thanks to all my fans.  If it wasn't for the Jamal- Warner-heads I wouldn't have anything.  

Elvin?  Who's Elvin?  You sure that was a guy on our show?   

Because Malcolm Jamal Warner is horny, that's why.  

I think I know what you're trying to say and I'm pretty sure it's racist.  

The eighties were crazy, man.  Mainly because of the show and also because of cocaine.  

Cancer?  I thought you said you had "Prancer".  Like the reindeer.  And I'm thinking "Why would this dude have a reindeer..."?

Am I saying there'd be no Will Smith without me?  Maybe.

Hi.  Philadelpia.  Residence.  Do you have a listing for a Mr. William Cosby...okay...maybe try Dr. William Cosby....?     

It's all good.  I don't need a safe word.  

So it's me, Mister Belvedere, Lionel Ritchie, Lawrence Taylor, the guy who played the Dad on Alf and this stripper, right...

It's called "Jamal in the Family" and I'd play a nanny for these hilarious white kids...

No, he didn't talk about jello that much.    

Sure I wanted to.  Everyone wanted to but she was my sister.  I mean she played my sister.  Also, Lenny Kravitz was already hitting that.     

Farted?  No.  I think it's this chair